Before I Die

Downham, Jenny. 2007. BEFORE I DIE. New York: Random House. ISBN 978-0-385-75183-4

“Life is made up of a series of moments, each one a journey to the end.”

Before I Die shares the last days of seventeen-year-old Tessa when she finds out she’s dying of acute lymphoblastic leukemia. In a form of rebellion, Tessa’s new habits are writing on walls and creating and carrying out a list ten of things to do before she dies including having sex, doing drugs, and breaking the law. Tessa’s relationships with her divorced parents, brother Cal, and best friend Zoey, are revealed as she stops going to school, cocooning herself in her room, trying to deal with the hospital visits, visits from the home nurse, and inevitably death. At the age of twelve and when Tessa was diagnosed, her mother left. Her father, dedicated to Tessa, quit his job to take care of her and doesn’t understand her quest to complete the items on her list. When her best friend Zoey becomes pregnant, Tessa’s life values and views begin to change. And as she begins to fulfill her list and do random acts, she meets someone willing to be there for her until the end; she begins to escape the walls of her room and her list evolves to include those around her.

Not a typical angst young adult novel, yet the British author Jenny Downham captures the anguish a teen would feel knowing that life won’t last much longer through a first person point of view. With vivid descriptions as Tessa’s sense heighten, the reader experiences that which Tessa does. Hazel Rochman of Booklist writes, “The clear, beautiful prose brings out all the elemental emotions—especially Tessa’s anger and frustration at being stuck in bed while others get on with their lives—and the passionate present-tense narrative will draw readers deeply into story and make them wonder, “What if it was me?” In the end, Downham uniquely uses white space and clipped sentences to portray Tessa’s semi-consciousness and final moments of her life.

Before I Die has been included on a number of best book lists like the 2008 YALSA Teens’ Top Ten List, 2007 Kirkus Best Young Adult Books List, and The Publishers Weekly Best Children’s Books of 2007. It has also received honors and awards such as United Kingdom’s 2008 Branford Boase Award and the 2008 Sheffield Children’s Book Award.

There are many dealing with grief. This novel offers an opportunity for deep discussion on the various emotions such as sorrow, anger, loneliness, anxiety and guilt. By looking at each character, students can see how different people deal with the same event in different way helping them to understand the nature of others and learn about themselves.

References

Rochman, Hazel. 2007. "Before I Die." Booklist 104, no. 6: 53. Library, Information Science & Technology Abstracts with Full Text, EBSCOhost (accessed September 28, 2011).